Saturday, March 15, 2014
Ballet School Receptionist
A face behind the glass
I stared at her
Tiny girls in leotards
walked in & out
of her tiny office
A shy child needing her
to sew a tear - she closed the door
Mothers gossiping
who got the best parts
in The Nutcracker
Shifting my weight
from foot to foot
pretending to read an old magazine
was my dance
Twice I went out for air
then returned to wonder
at her rice flour face
& when she walked down the hall
I admired her ass
I had heard she had a boyfriend
but was unhappy with his abuses
I wondered if she ever danced away
from those men
I was tired of dancing -
I wanted to fill envelopes
with words about the moon -
hand them out as my resume
When the ballet class ended
my niece stage-whispered
“Did you talk to her?”
*******
1991. 17 year relationship with Chtistine over; intense, unpleasant rebound affair shortly afterward (woman snatched at a poetry reading from another poet, who wasn't acting fast \enough - he never forgave me); .nearly a one night stand with a (married) friend visiting from out of town - encouraged by mutual friends. I went to work at Pearl Arts Supply in Woodbridge. I did meet a woman there eventually, together three years. Dabbled in local newspaper relationships wanted to no satisfaction. This was not how I met women. I hadn't "dated" since high school. All my other significant relationships were meet somewhere, hang out usually with friends, then go off & hang out on out own.
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson
I stared at her
Tiny girls in leotards
walked in & out
of her tiny office
A shy child needing her
to sew a tear - she closed the door
Mothers gossiping
who got the best parts
in The Nutcracker
Shifting my weight
from foot to foot
pretending to read an old magazine
was my dance
Twice I went out for air
then returned to wonder
at her rice flour face
& when she walked down the hall
I admired her ass
I had heard she had a boyfriend
but was unhappy with his abuses
I wondered if she ever danced away
from those men
I was tired of dancing -
I wanted to fill envelopes
with words about the moon -
hand them out as my resume
When the ballet class ended
my niece stage-whispered
“Did you talk to her?”
*******
1991. 17 year relationship with Chtistine over; intense, unpleasant rebound affair shortly afterward (woman snatched at a poetry reading from another poet, who wasn't acting fast \enough - he never forgave me); .nearly a one night stand with a (married) friend visiting from out of town - encouraged by mutual friends. I went to work at Pearl Arts Supply in Woodbridge. I did meet a woman there eventually, together three years. Dabbled in local newspaper relationships wanted to no satisfaction. This was not how I met women. I hadn't "dated" since high school. All my other significant relationships were meet somewhere, hang out usually with friends, then go off & hang out on out own.
