Saturday, February 23, 2013
I pulled down a long rambling crazy post from yesterday about a very serious problem I have in this apartment. It was something I wanted to share with the few regular readers of this blog, not with anyone who happened to be searching the topic & came across it.
I stayed at Gina's last night, which I rarely do & then only if I'm watching some movie that ends at two a.m., just pull up the afghan & nod off. But I had to step away from the situation here, which is multi--faceted, away from the internet have a calm night with the company of cats & Star Trek Next Generation reruns. I had a decent six hours of sleep on her couch without Ambien. Got up, make a cup of coffee, watched the news, made a list things I can do here on a cold rainy day that aren't especially taxing, come home & see if the few steps I did take on Friday to improve the situation had any good effect. Indeed they did.
I've been very depressed. When something happens to snap me out of it too fast, I can be pushed into manic phase.(other depressives have also reported this phenomena). I really want to avoid that. I need calm plus energy.
For the first time in weeks, thanks to to the new locked door laundry room system here, I have bags of clean clothes & other stuff, & I can keep them clean & wash them as often as I need & add to them & secure them.
Because of a tub drain problem, my bathroom has fallen into an unclean condition, & that will be taken care of Monday.
I have a new vacuum cleaner on the way that ought to just right for this apt.
Gina resides a few blocks away on a suburban street, next door to a friendly couple, a Rabbi & his wife. I walk in my front door about 11: 30 with a cup of 7-11 coffee, Sitting on the radiator in the vestibule (there was smoldering fire behind it a few weeks ago from tossed lit cigarette), smoking a ciggie beneath a new "No Smoking" sign was the fearsome, never-smiling, probably sociopathic, female tenant of this building. One look at the woman you know this butch queen has done time at least in the county lockup for something, most likely assault & battery. Don't fuck with her. Don't say hello. Don't even give a nod of the head. Just brief eye contact to acknowledge I'm aware she's there. She's tougher than any guy in this building & she knows it. I'm so far down her food chain I'm not even a snack. Just swim on by. She's actually out of her territory in this place, this generally quiet, working class, predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, & she's not the first tenant like that to land here.
So that's a given. I have my own problems.
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson
I stayed at Gina's last night, which I rarely do & then only if I'm watching some movie that ends at two a.m., just pull up the afghan & nod off. But I had to step away from the situation here, which is multi--faceted, away from the internet have a calm night with the company of cats & Star Trek Next Generation reruns. I had a decent six hours of sleep on her couch without Ambien. Got up, make a cup of coffee, watched the news, made a list things I can do here on a cold rainy day that aren't especially taxing, come home & see if the few steps I did take on Friday to improve the situation had any good effect. Indeed they did.
I've been very depressed. When something happens to snap me out of it too fast, I can be pushed into manic phase.(other depressives have also reported this phenomena). I really want to avoid that. I need calm plus energy.
For the first time in weeks, thanks to to the new locked door laundry room system here, I have bags of clean clothes & other stuff, & I can keep them clean & wash them as often as I need & add to them & secure them.
Because of a tub drain problem, my bathroom has fallen into an unclean condition, & that will be taken care of Monday.
I have a new vacuum cleaner on the way that ought to just right for this apt.
Gina resides a few blocks away on a suburban street, next door to a friendly couple, a Rabbi & his wife. I walk in my front door about 11: 30 with a cup of 7-11 coffee, Sitting on the radiator in the vestibule (there was smoldering fire behind it a few weeks ago from tossed lit cigarette), smoking a ciggie beneath a new "No Smoking" sign was the fearsome, never-smiling, probably sociopathic, female tenant of this building. One look at the woman you know this butch queen has done time at least in the county lockup for something, most likely assault & battery. Don't fuck with her. Don't say hello. Don't even give a nod of the head. Just brief eye contact to acknowledge I'm aware she's there. She's tougher than any guy in this building & she knows it. I'm so far down her food chain I'm not even a snack. Just swim on by. She's actually out of her territory in this place, this generally quiet, working class, predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, & she's not the first tenant like that to land here.
So that's a given. I have my own problems.
Labels: home furnishings, mental health
