Monday, November 22, 2010


I have most lucid dreams just before I wake up & during naps. They're probably just fresher & easier to recall,

This morning, my ex-girlfriend's long-deceased dad wandered into a dream. I was with her for years, then not with her for years.  I had no idea why he was there, the dream wasn't making any sense to me. He just seemed to be out for a stroll & looking around.  When he was alive, I felt he neither strongly liked nor disliked me.     A devout Catholic, he certainly disapproved of  his daughter & I residing together without blessing of Holy Matrimony, but he loved her dearly, & she was by his standards rebellious before she met me,  in the sense that she stubbornly did what she wanted.  She was a very talented young woman.  For him, I failed in all the basics; not Catholic, not married to her, not employed in  a respectable vocation. But she was equally  responsible. I wasn't preventing her from going to church, wouldn't  have objected if she did. She was my third Catholic girlfriend.

In the dream, he was healthy, middle-aged, wearing a tweedy jacket I think, & sporting a small mustache. Maybe he had always wanted a mustache. He was a man of good manners. He said something, I don't remember what, then he turned & began walking away.  I said, "Wait, can I ask you something?"  He turned around & said, "Sure."

"Are you in Heaven?" A question I had never before dared to ask dream characters.

He looked a bit puzzled. He either wouldn't or couldn't answer the question, the dream froze & faded.

Clearly, he was in a good place wherever it was. If  he was only my memory of him, then I remember him fondly. He'd been through a lot, had three daughters, a saintly wife, & he appreciated peace.  He represented a part of my life, the relationship,  that  "died," & which I've thought about far too much.    Most of the characters I meet in dreams are inventions, I don't know who they are, although they're faintly familiar, some  of them are strangely amusing, so they're probably extensions of me, just as  dreamscapes are visual representations of one's mind.


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