Saturday, October 30, 2010
My nephew's birthday
My nephew's birthday - sister's son. He's 41, 42, around there. I'm in the ballpark. Easily recall his birthday - day before Halloween. A Scorpio like myself. Meaning I've always figured he's a mask-wearer & I've only seen him playing his family roles as son, sibling, nephew, cousin. Scorp "masks" are generally honest if partial expressions, more for protection than to hide anything, no need to peek behind them; that invasion only agitates us & makes us grumpy. We drop them as circumstances require. Rarely seen him interact with friends. Unlike most women, a large, visible part of us guys stays somewhere between the ages of 13 & 19, & women either accept it or are endlessly exasperated. So my nephew has always been kind of "the kid" to me. He was born when I was a long-hair, older adolescent, & in general rebellion, & the idea of being an uncle made no sense. Babies only confounded me. He grew up into a lanky guy, I never got used to his height. My sister, a Virgo, is a good mom match. Virgos are puzzled by Scorpios, rarely intimidated, only annoyed. Scorpios tend to pretend we crave surprises, but we appreciate routine, tradition, orderliness, & most Virgos have a gift for those. So my sister, once she guided my nephew out of the nest (helping him find his own nest), kept an open door.
My nephew used to ask me about his mom's teenage years. Perhaps he thought there were "secrets" back in that time. I had "stories." But the facts are that few of my sister's many high school acheivements - good grades, varsity cheerleader (no varsity sports for girls back then), boyfriends, came easily to her. She had ambitions & worked steadily to realize them, even when she failed on first try. Unfortunately, I didn't imitate her good study habits, but she was my model for how to do high school socially, how not be a nerd or weirdo. Try some sports whether you're good at them or not (I wasn't), you'll get respect from coaches & the better athletes just by trying. Like the popular music, keep the unusual music tastes in the background. Have male & female friends in your social circle, the gender-segregated quality of suburban teen culture was changing rapidly, there was a sort of proto-feminism in the wind. Go to dances with or without a date, just go. & if an opportunity to get some major positive attention happens, jump on it. When that time came, I jumped & had more than 15 minutes of high school celebrity.
My guy friends liked my sister, an "older woman" since she was two years ahead of me. A few had huge crushes on her. As much as I tormented her, I also considered her a social asset. I know I've told my nephew this. The only scandalous behavior was mine. My nephew enjoyed knowing his mom was, in most ways, a very "typical" teenager.
***
My minister brother started a Facebook page. I don't know why he bothers. He won't do anything with it. I'd probably lose 1/3 of my Facebook "friends" if they deleted their inactive accounts. If you're not gonna play the game, don't even join it. Of nearly 200 "friends," only a dozen or so comprise an interactive "community" I know keep up with my wall postings.
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson
My nephew used to ask me about his mom's teenage years. Perhaps he thought there were "secrets" back in that time. I had "stories." But the facts are that few of my sister's many high school acheivements - good grades, varsity cheerleader (no varsity sports for girls back then), boyfriends, came easily to her. She had ambitions & worked steadily to realize them, even when she failed on first try. Unfortunately, I didn't imitate her good study habits, but she was my model for how to do high school socially, how not be a nerd or weirdo. Try some sports whether you're good at them or not (I wasn't), you'll get respect from coaches & the better athletes just by trying. Like the popular music, keep the unusual music tastes in the background. Have male & female friends in your social circle, the gender-segregated quality of suburban teen culture was changing rapidly, there was a sort of proto-feminism in the wind. Go to dances with or without a date, just go. & if an opportunity to get some major positive attention happens, jump on it. When that time came, I jumped & had more than 15 minutes of high school celebrity.
My guy friends liked my sister, an "older woman" since she was two years ahead of me. A few had huge crushes on her. As much as I tormented her, I also considered her a social asset. I know I've told my nephew this. The only scandalous behavior was mine. My nephew enjoyed knowing his mom was, in most ways, a very "typical" teenager.
***
My minister brother started a Facebook page. I don't know why he bothers. He won't do anything with it. I'd probably lose 1/3 of my Facebook "friends" if they deleted their inactive accounts. If you're not gonna play the game, don't even join it. Of nearly 200 "friends," only a dozen or so comprise an interactive "community" I know keep up with my wall postings.
Labels: growing up
