Wednesday, June 03, 2009

A choice not mine to make

When I was 22 & she 19, my Roman Catholic girlfriend had an abortion. I believe she did it more for me than for herself. It did not save the relationship. Having the baby would not have saved the relationship. I have no feelings about the abortion itself, an early, legal termination. But it was a terrible thing for her, & I was too young to really understand that.

My mother aborted a pregnancy between my sister's birth & mine. I don't know if it was the only abortion she ever had. I know she carried a load of guilt over it all her life. She did not tell me about it until she was old, an unexpected answer to a question. The abortion was illegal (I suspect by her personal gynecologist or obstetrician) & traumatic. Yet, had she accepted that pregnancy, I probably would not be here. In her heart, mom counted the one she gave up, an emotional risk women take with an abortion.

The religious "Culture of Life" espoused by the Roman Catholic Church (including some Catholic left groups) & some protestant "peace" churches has its appeal. Nat Hentoff, an atheist, has opposed abortion for decades as part of what he considers rational & ethical human rights advocacy. There's even a pro-gay marriage group opposed to abortion. How I felt about abortion shifted day to day. I am prochoice & prolife, which doesn't male me unusual. I decided to defer to women on the matter. The majority of women - despite some misleading recent poll numbers - do not want abortion outlawed.

By contrast, Troy Newman, President of Operation Rescue, is an Elder in the Presbyterian Church in America; women cannot be elders, or ordained anything, in that reactionary denomination. Women acquiesce quietly to the patriarchs at the PCA, quite obedient. Just as women members of Operation Rescue follow male "leaders" of the anti-abortion movement like Newman & like accused murderer Scott Roeder. Roeder is a "lone killer" only in the strictly legal sense. He's always felt empowered by others to do violence, by their language & undisguised admiration for him personally. He's always had women encouraging him to act on their behalf, to make the choices. & when he goes to prison he won't lack for female correspondents or marriage proposals or, for that matter, women willing to bear his children in or out of wedlock.

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