Saturday, May 03, 2008

Something in the air

I've never suffered much from seasonal allergies, or been affected by cats & dogs. Walking into direct sunlight can make me sneeze, & certain cheap perfumes do me in instantly. Today I woke up with a stuffy nostril & an itchy, watery left eye, I was in bed thinking what's this all about? Took awhile before the obvious answer: Something is blooming, some flower or tree, it'll last a few days & if it bothers me too much I'll take a spoonful of nonprescription antihistamine. I feel for people with serious allergies. A former girlfriend was allergic to everything. The most recent time I saw her a few years ago, I knew right away she was having a bad day, her face puffy & pink. I'd seen that condition so many times. Enjoyable moments I took for granted - the smell of mowed lawns, the colors of wildflowers, taking a walk in a park, going into a pet person's home & being introduced to the furry occupants, a social event where women wore expensive fragrances - were important considerations for her for which she had to be prepared .

This is a really profitable area for drug companies. Not content with selling needed prescription medicines to genuine sufferers, they go after boneheads. A current TV ad shows a happy woman sitting at a table decorated with fresh cut flowers, a long-hair cat on her lap. Clearly, she's relaxing at home. If you're seriously allergic to cat hair & fresh cut flowers, it stands to reason the first line of defense is that you shouldn't keep a long hair breed of kitty & deliberately stick your nose in a vase of daisies.

Even worse is the commercial where a guy pulls a small rug out of his dryer & sneezes. Some things make everybody sneeze.The man's body is telling him to take the damned rug outside, stand upwind, give it a shake, put the thing back on the floor, & wipe his nose on his sleeve. But no, this is now an illness. We must turn to the miracle of prescription drugs. How wussy can you get? It's as bad as the commercials for antacids we're supposed to take before we gorge ourselves on hot buffalo wings, nachos & flaming picante salsa, pepperoni pizza, washed down with a gallon of tequila.

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