Friday, February 15, 2008

After the love is gone

A cautionary story for the day after Valentine's Day.
They've bickered over whether she knew he was gay, whose tell-all book would sell better, whether a poster of a nude man hanging over his new lover's bed had to come down before she'd allow their 6-year-old to visit.

Divorce has been exceptionally bitter for former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey and his wife, Dina Matos McGreevey. Unless they can resolve the custody and money issues that have arisen since their acrimonious parting, the state's estranged former first couple is heading for a May trial.
Celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder, whose list of clients includes exes of Mike Tyson and Liz Taylor, doubts that the former governor and his wife will follow the script of the 95 percent of divorcing spouses who settle their cases before trial.

"She is a betrayed spouse, but worse," said Felder, who is not involved in the McGreevey case. "He turned away from her for a member of his own sex; it was even more insulting because she was made a public fool. She feels as if she was used and this is payback time."
I wonder if any of this would have been avoided if a traumatized Dina hadn't been - I presume - pressured into playing the good political wife & standing next to Jim during the humiliating press conference when he announced he was gay, & a compulsive liar, & was resigning. She looked robotic. Their dilemma was that he was unfaithful AND gay & for whatever reasons she couldn't or wouldn't see it. His problems went far beyond those. He had to explain his actions to us. That wasn't Dina's problem anymore, & Jim McGreevey should have had the decency to insist on facing the cameras alone. Instead, he dragged everyone into the spotlight in a futile attempt to turn the scandal into a gay rights issue rather than what it was; a matter of his own poor judgment & betrayal of personal & public trusts. If he had been my friend, I may not have forgiven him. But had he been my friend, I would have known he was gay, & been one of his guilty enablers.

I think Dina made a mistake letting her own prejudices into the divorce battle instead of keeping her focus on prying more money out of Jim. Now she reminds me of a guy who bitterly resents that his estranged wife is dating a wealthy man & is happier than he is. What a world.

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