the rix mix

"Am I a man who just dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly who now dreams about being a man?"

Zhuangzi

Dreams provide us with physical & mental experiences that happen in the waking world. Most of us are fortunate to get around on a functional pair of legs, but we have all experienced forms of paralysis in dreams.

Last night, I was walking down Mitchell Ave. a dead end street in Linden NJ where I resided for 12 years. I liked the apt. on Mitchell Ave. & the neighborhood, a lot happened while I lived there, so no surprise I occasionally revisit it in dreams. But as I was walking another more lucid & observant part of my mind remembered I didn't live there anymore. That was alright, except I couldn't remember where I did live. I turned around, confused, wondering if this was senility. My lucid mind told me to get out my wallet & look at the address on the driver's license. My photo was clearly on the license, but the print would not come into focus. In a panic, my imagination sought a way out, & WFMU Manager Ken Freedman - who I met nearly 25 years ago while I was still living in Linden - pulled up in an old car, with other people in it I vaguely recognized, & drove us to a house in an old suburban area that resembled but wasn't quite one I'd ever seen. We all got out & went up to a second floor apt, & it was all very friendly, but I still wasn't home, & now had no idea at all where I actually was.

Over the past few years I've had dreams where I found myself in towns like Kenilworth & Union & walked all the back to Rahway - exhausting ten mile epic journeys through Roselle Park (where I grew up). Roselle, Cranford, Clark - only to realize I had no specific destination. I'm not angry in these dreams, I understand my situation & the immediate surroundings are often familiar, I'm just befuddled by the blank spaces in my mind. & I am not always inclined in the dream to reject the dream state even after I become aware that it is a dream.

(After having these dreams, I often turn to the poetry of Jim Cohn, who advised me to talk to dream people, which I forgot to do last night.)

Labels: dreams