the rix mix

On the seafood page of the weekly circular, a local supermarket prominently promises:
It's Fresh or It's FREE!
Not sure what to make of that guarantee. Should we be concerned?
Are they giving away particularly aromatic salmon steaks?
What about this bag of defrosted frozen shrimp I found in the shampoo aisle?
I want to return the crab salad for exchange or refund
& present you with a bill for an emergency room stomach pumping.
When the Pathmark here was renovated a few months ago, the fresh fish section
was installed next to the bakery section, thus overwhelming & canceling out
the enticing mix of fragrances from all the bread, gourmet cookies,
cakes, muffins & donuts. It seemed an idiotic thing to do.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if the sales of birthday cakes plummeted.
You can't buy a cake for your kid's party, lie that you baked it yourself,
then have to explain why it smells like the dumpster behind Red Lobster
that the seagulls always attack.
I can't stand that corner of the store.
I always feel like hosing it down with lemon juice.