Sunday, June 05, 2005
Yes, I talk to animals, but they don't talk back.
I have a good deal of experience with "mental illness." Then. with the help of others, I recognized it in myself. The recognization meant that I no longer had something to hide, & I no longer needed to blame my periods of deep sadness on what I knew in my heart wasn't enough to make me so sad & ineffective. People like me are not "cured." We learn to observe, maintain & treat outselves. We must figure out how to self-heal. There's more spiritual reasonableness in this process than science. Being reasonable with oneself & others is much more difficult than arithmetic. After contemplating the mysteries of seratonin uptake chemistry, I concluded it was primarily a "liberal arts" matter. I'm not an activist advocate of mental health awareness, but I'm definitely in the Speak Out category.
For the first time since I sought professional help in 1999, I had to inquire of someone if he was making assessments of my mental & emotional capacities to do something. It was very hard for me to raise my concerns, first with myself & then with him. One of my weaknesses is that I am often not sufficiently suspicious of others, skepticism being my normal mode. Something wasn't adding up, & it warranted my suspicion, or at a least a warning that suspicion was imminent unless we used reasonableness. He doesn't know me well enough to compare my current state of mind with any previous state. He can't use my sense of humor as a barometer, because he doesn't understand it. He also doesn't comprehend my creative point of view; my art is what it seems to be; on the occasions when it deceives, it is clearly about deception. & I often point to music, art & landscapes that delight me. Perhaps I'm unreasonable. He needs to spare a few minutes so i can ask him what he would like to know about me, or tell me what he already knows.
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson
For the first time since I sought professional help in 1999, I had to inquire of someone if he was making assessments of my mental & emotional capacities to do something. It was very hard for me to raise my concerns, first with myself & then with him. One of my weaknesses is that I am often not sufficiently suspicious of others, skepticism being my normal mode. Something wasn't adding up, & it warranted my suspicion, or at a least a warning that suspicion was imminent unless we used reasonableness. He doesn't know me well enough to compare my current state of mind with any previous state. He can't use my sense of humor as a barometer, because he doesn't understand it. He also doesn't comprehend my creative point of view; my art is what it seems to be; on the occasions when it deceives, it is clearly about deception. & I often point to music, art & landscapes that delight me. Perhaps I'm unreasonable. He needs to spare a few minutes so i can ask him what he would like to know about me, or tell me what he already knows.
