Friday, February 25, 2005
Losing my therapist: first thoughts
Losing this therapist now is probably a good thing for several reasons. First, my feelings for her are too personal & rather than feeling safety in the relationship I've felt constrained by it. Because of this constraint, there were many details about my life I never told my therapist & had no intention of telling her. I almost completely stopped talking about my relationships with women & my hopes & desires for having love again. So, I had deliberately shut E.K. out of a large part of my inner life rather than sound like a lonely middle-aged guy singing the blues every other week.
She knew that I wrote down as prose or poetry what I could remember of significant dreams - these occur every few months - & would send them to someone else but not recount them to her. In fact, I wasn't seeking psychological insight but rather was soliciting advice on lucid dreaming & on how to deal with the demonic characters & absurd situations, which I considered a spiritual matter.
" The president loves democracy - as long as democracy means he's always right." Maureen Dowd
She knew that I wrote down as prose or poetry what I could remember of significant dreams - these occur every few months - & would send them to someone else but not recount them to her. In fact, I wasn't seeking psychological insight but rather was soliciting advice on lucid dreaming & on how to deal with the demonic characters & absurd situations, which I considered a spiritual matter.
" The president loves democracy - as long as democracy means he's always right." Maureen Dowd
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"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson
Bob,
Hang in there.I know it's not easy living in Elizabeth.It was good to here you back on the air Monday.Having some body to relate to is important.Enjoy your blog.
Hang in there.I know it's not easy living in Elizabeth.It was good to here you back on the air Monday.Having some body to relate to is important.Enjoy your blog.
# posted by 
: 12:30 PM
: 12:30 PM
Thanks for the kind thoughts. After a year in Elizabeth, what I don't like about where I live has come down to a short list:
1. I'm not near water. I had a relationship with Rahway River, which widens into a tidal estuary.
2. Rahway police are much more attentive to "quality of life" matters, whether it involves a barking dog at 3 a.m or punks selling drugs on the street.*
3. I don't like where the main library is located.
4. Elizabeth has all the problems of a big city but few of the attractions. One puts up with just as much urban crap in, say, Jersey City, but gets a lot more back.
*There's a high price for this inattentiveness. Two weeks ago there was a teenage revenge shootout by the train station. Those kids, no matter how enraged they were, planned the attack & expected to get away with it.
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1. I'm not near water. I had a relationship with Rahway River, which widens into a tidal estuary.
2. Rahway police are much more attentive to "quality of life" matters, whether it involves a barking dog at 3 a.m or punks selling drugs on the street.*
3. I don't like where the main library is located.
4. Elizabeth has all the problems of a big city but few of the attractions. One puts up with just as much urban crap in, say, Jersey City, but gets a lot more back.
*There's a high price for this inattentiveness. Two weeks ago there was a teenage revenge shootout by the train station. Those kids, no matter how enraged they were, planned the attack & expected to get away with it.
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