the rix mix

The United States is now essentially a military dictatorship. Our foreign policy is determined by hawks in the Bush Administration & in congress. Our economic policies are geared to "national security." The needs of the military set Bush's domestic agenda, starving social services, environmental, alternative energy & transportation programs while mandating huge expenses for "National Security" at all levels of government from national to local. Our rights to privacy are disregarded, spying on neighbors encouraged, free speech labeled un-American if not traitorous, the common good equated with obedient, unquestioning patriotism, & perhaps worst of all, religion wrapped with the flag of nationalism. "Liberty" is now defined as "capitalism," & "freedom" as "consumerism." Our Independence Hall is the Mall. & all this, as in Germany in the early Nineteen-Thirties, is being accomplished through propaganda & sleight-of-hand tricks, posing a total threat to National existence where none exists. Is Islamic Radicalism capable of killing the United States of America? With terrorist attacks, no. With irrational fear, yes.

Felice Bryant, poet & lyricist, age 77, Rest in Peace

The sun is out
The sky is blue
There's not a cloud
To spoil the view
But it's raining
Raining In My Heart

The Weather Man
Says "Clear today"
He doesn't know
You've gone away
And it's raining
Raining In My Heart

Oh misery - misery
What's gonna become of me

I tell my blues
They mustn't show
But soon these tears
Are bound to flow
Cause it's raining
Raining In My Heart
Raining In My Heart
Raining In My Heart

God the Master, people the slaves;
the church the Master, people the slaves;
the state the Master, people the slaves;
society the Master, people the slaves;
the family the Master, people the slaves;
nature the Master, people the slaves.

"It is slavery in everything; in the acquisition of knowledge, in morals, in religion, in art, in political & social life."
Nicolas Berdyaev, "Master, Slave and Free Man."

Who has found, in religion, in nationalism, in family, in intimate relations, an authentic liberation?

RECLUSE AHEAD

Averaged anout twelve hours of sleep in two shifts each day for past week. Left apartment an hour at most those days, only to go to get food, & not at all over Easter weekend. & this happening on 150 mgs of Zoloft. Exchanged a few e mails, chatted on phone Tuesday night. Waiting for rent check to bounce. Smoking too much. Took shower & shaved today, put on clean clothes, what an effort! Can't make someone fall in love & behave accordingly, all attentiveness & springtime & not being able to stay away from each other, but just accept what she's willing to give. Don't insist on anything - it'll only drive her away altogether.

comments? write Bob

Suicidal Ideation, Self-Injury and Suicide Attempts

Definition: Any thoughts or acts of self-injury.

It's as simple as that. It isn't the depression itself that may push one past the ideation stage - depressed people can live with ideation for decades & it becomes a form of coping, like "griping" on the job. The greatest hopelessless kicks in when one realizes there is more past than future & believes the future is going to be just like the past. As indeed it will, without help.

Encouragement to get help is unlikely to to come from one's family - they are too accustomed to one's personality & afraid that change - improvement - in the depressed family member will force them to change, to reassess their relationships & possibly acknowledge their own depression. Once the "emergency" is over, treatment begun, family members & even friends may become very resistant to the process of recovery & adjustment, which is a daily, ongoing battle. They may be comfortable with "crisis intervention," as it gives them something obviously useful to do, & also maintains the status quo. So the depressed person begins to believe, "My own family doesn't know who I really am, who I am becoming, & doesn't want to know."

email Bob

Unfortunately, there are always plenty of people who want war, who want it in the worst way, & who conspire endlessly to stir up enmity. Every bullet, every bomb, every gallon of gasoline, every missile, every rifle, every jet, every slice of bacon & every egg, every dose of morphine used in battle must be replaced. These are more easily replaced than soldiers (although they're expendable, too). The government simply buys more war supplies. So every corporation profiting from the sale of materiel to the military reaps a bonanza of gold in wartime, while the rest of us hypnotized mall rats reap the whirlwind - if we're unlucky enough to get caught in the atorm.

War is good for the economy of the rich. So good that sometimes winners lose & losers win in the long run. It is a demonic enterprise, a great business opportunity. & oh, ain't it like strawberries on a cheesecake when the vast majority of citizens need not sacrifice a thing.

Don't talk about justice & liberation for Iraqis. We could care less, except while we are temporarily mesmerized. Millions die in Africa from AIDS & tribal genocide & it doesn't even make the news in America (one has to tune in BBC). Because there's no profit in it.

Look into a person's world, see what it is, who else there is. Go inside it if possible. Sometimes this requires courage or a strong stomach, or learning something new. How else can you accept it, much less understand it? Step back, observe that person in context. Who else cares for & about that person? What are the connections? Then you can help someone with compassion, not merely with charity.