Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I earned it

Rainy all day. Crosstown to see shrink. I enjoy one-to-ones with his young MSW assistant,  but when other patient/clients are there  it turns into Group-Lite, I say very little to people I don't know, the level comes down to, "Bob likes to write. What do the rest of you do to stay active?" & "Bob is getting rid of lots things. Do any of you have problems with clutter?'   I was in several groups at the clinic I did not like for how they were conducted.  But when I was in a day program called "partial hospital,"  six weeks, M-F, 9 am -3 pm, I  went through the program with the same group of about 12 people (all younger, many had been to college  or were college age, generally an intelligent bunch with a variety of issues). The entire day was  groups focused on different topics, well-run, & locked  up tight.  Some very serious personal stuff was discussed.  Some people wept.  We  got to know each other.   Group confidentiality was the #1 Rule.

Filled out a brief questionnaire on clinic services. Generally high grades except the last; Would you recommend the clinic?  Gave it three on a scale of five. It's a public clinic. If your insurance can put you elsewhere, go elsewhere.

I took cab to CVS, walked home from there in light rain, Puttered around a bit. took an Ambien & went to sleep for four hours. Conked right out with radio on.  Didn't sleep well last night.   I earned it.

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Getting rid of stuff that has been doing nothing except being sentimental, can be hard, but when done in a time of need, can be extraordinarily easy. Moving to the smaller apartment, and having a time crunch pushing me out, gave me the courage to just dump 2/3 of my stuff. I kept reminding myself of the mantra from the hoarding television shows - remember that the stuff just contains memories, and the memories you will always have; the stuff can go.
I've carted hundreds of books through four apartments, thinking, "Someday I'll have shelves & a library room," but gradually realizing I didn't want that. I actually have some books I refer to over & over, a handful I really treasure as art objects, & some art & photo books I like keeping around.
& a substantial number of thick reference books I needed before we had the world wide web.
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