Saturday, May 08, 2010

The nature of the sickness

The nature of the sickness is that you hurt yourself.

You push away people who love you because that hurts yourself.
You believe you aren't worthy of help because that hurts yourself.
You don't tell anyone you're hurting yourself. You put up a front. You withdraw.
You anxious & fearful of what you know & what you don't know.
It's the nature of the sickness.

It's not easy to help someone to stop hurting them-self. It's not always difficult, either. It takes time & patience. Lots of patience. Sometimes patience is love. Helping with small things, wondering why they can't just do those things. It takes a number of people just to help one person.

When you don't do the small things they become big things & you're hurting yourself.

Always remember that it's the nature of the sickness. It can be be about silence & secrecy & hiding & disguises.

During my monthly or bimonthly ten minute sessions with a shrink, he asks if I think about suicide. But he never asks how I'm hurting myself.


Bob, I do not like the way that sounds. Please do not do anything to hurt yourself. If you need help I live in Lake Hopatcong, but know my way around Elizabeth quite well. I can be there in 35 minutes to take you somewhere you need to be. Please be strong. I am serious, I will help you if you need it.
Thanks, Tony. I elaborated on it before I even read your comment.
Bob, I'm happy you elaborated. I wasn't sure what you meant about hurting yourself, but now I have a better understanding. I won't pretend to know what you are experiencing, and I don't even know what illness you are battling. I will tell you I understand the patience you speak of and the need of a strong support network. My sister is bipolar, and it is when she in the most fragile state that she locks us out. That is when we (her family and friends) need to muster up the patience and understanding that it is the illness controlling her, not her. Often times it would seem easier just to walk away and leave her be, but we don't. My offer stands, that if you need assistance in any manner, i.e., rides to the doctor, help with grocery shopping, etc, I will do my best to help.
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