Thursday, January 29, 2009
You are getting sleepy
A dependency isn't an addiction. There's no withdrawal, the body doesn't cry out for a fix. You don't panic, you just get annoyed that you have to stay away from something & wait until some kind of balance is restored. If you habitually eat Oreos before bed every night for a few months, you'll be dependent on those, & the solution is stop buying Oreos, maybe initially switch to tasteless house brand oatmeals.
I'll have Ambien back next to the aspirin & Tylenol PM. But I need to be able to look at it say, "Don't want you tonight." Which is how I originally dealt with it.
I took myself off Zoloft without consulting with the shrink. It hadn't kept me out of the hospital. Those drugs can make it difficult to keep track of one's mental states, the ups & downs, which is what my therapist had been trying to teach me for several years. I became dangerously depressed without fully feeling how depressed I really was. So I cut down the daily Zoloft dosages & slowly cleaned it outta my system. When the shrink asked why, I said, "I wanted back what remains of my libido, & not for sex." That seemed to make sense to him. I'd like Zoloft if it was like Ambien, an as-needed drug; it keeps little things from rattling you, makes shy people more sociable. But it doesn't make you more yourself; rather it changes emphasis in your personality, & that emphasis is toward agreeableness. After awhile I became disagreeable trying to resist the pacifying effect Zoloft had on me. It takes a month to get on it & a month to get off it, & I didn't like that at all.
Labels: mental health