Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Dr. Zoloft: Do you have family?
Client: Yes.
Dr. Z: Do you ever see them?
Client: No.
Dr. Z: Why?
Client: Family is the people who will donate my body to the med school & put all my writing on the curb in plastic garbage bags.
Dr. Z: So they're relatives?
Client: Not necessarily. Depends on who does the job.
Dr. Z: When did you get this attitude?
Client: About 10 years ago I realized I'd have a 30 word obituary when I'm worth 300.
Dr. Z: Do you ever think about suicide?
Client: I work at not letting it keep my attention. But my file shows that I've changed in a hurry. Twice.
Dr. Z: I see that. Last time 5 years ago. Was it a seasonal affective depression?
Client: No, it was more like an I was about to be evicted depression on top of the I'm a piece of crap depression I usually have.
Dr. Z: Interesting ideation.
Client: I always liked the beach in winter. I didn't actually attempt it.
Dr. Z: But your therapist sent you in for two weeks anyway. It was December. She believed you'd hit the jackpot on that one. Gin & hypothermia?
Client: British explorer stranded at the North Pole.
Dr. Z: You really thought that?
Client: It occurred to me later, in the hospital. What else can you do after you've eaten the dogs? Can you believe they took away my Walkman but let me read Beowulf?

Her: I'm glad you came back.
Post a Comment

<< Home
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." Thomas Jefferson

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?