Monday, February 28, 2005
The house that is "I"
To simplify Jung, the construct of the house itself is the dreamer, a "physical" representation of the unconscious in which the dreamer - depending on the level of lucidity - is free to roam around. I'm inclined to agree. However, my most symbolically significant dreams almost always occur in much simpler landscapes, such as the house where I grew from infancy to age 19, a flat Jersey beach, or a place in which the surroundings are subordinate to the characters; a basic stage set.
In the early Seventies in New Brunswick (& probably now), a dozen Rutgers students & "townies" would take over a seedy house, cramming themselves into any available bit of space that would fit a small mattress. Although it was a chaotic situation with almost no privacy, a nasty-looking kitchen, worn out old furniture, a scummy bathtub on claw feet, frequent turnover of occupants, constant music playing in one part of the house & someone typing in another, & always the mixed odor of pot & cheap beer, the shared rents were very low. I never lived in one of these crowded hovels, but I visited (& got high in) many. I was mugged at gunpoint twice while I resided in New Brunswick, & nearly asphyxiated by a faulty furnace. It was a terrible two years of passage out of adolescence. No wonder it formed the foundation of a repeating nightmare.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
"I do not like to be accused of oozing. I do not ooze." Former New Jersey Governor Thomas Kean
Friday, February 25, 2005
Losing my therapist: first thoughts
She knew that I wrote down as prose or poetry what I could remember of significant dreams - these occur every few months - & would send them to someone else but not recount them to her. In fact, I wasn't seeking psychological insight but rather was soliciting advice on lucid dreaming & on how to deal with the demonic characters & absurd situations, which I considered a spiritual matter.
" The president loves democracy - as long as democracy means he's always right." Maureen Dowd
Thursday, February 24, 2005
My relationship with E.K. is one of the three most important I've had with women outside of family, those other two preceded her, & in all three it was the woman who ended it. But this is different, although I don't know if this ending includes loss & liberation, or only loss. I have to think about it.
(In fact, I've never liked doing therapy through the clinic; it's an uncomfortable place & not conducive to the kind of deep, relaxed free associating both she & I would have preferred as the staple of our sessions together.)
John Paul's Bullhorn
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
If convicted, hang 'em high.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
The insanity never ends.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Malcolm X was murdered 40 years ago today.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Compliments pass where quality meet: A shill at the White House
To sum up briefly, a man who was not a legitimate journalist, representing a "news service" that was a front for the Republican Party, received credentials as a White House correspondent, which is the top of the heap for a reporter. Like everyone in the White House press corps he was "vetted" by the F.B.I. for security clearance, approved by the White House press office, & yet for two years worked under a pseudonym, "Jeff Gannon." White House press secretary Scott McClellan claimed not to be aware of this. Gannon/Guckert's "assignment" was to lob softball questions in press conferences that supported Bush adminstration views while smearing opponents. A montage of these questions from the past year is like a comedy routine. This alone is a big story. But the man also owned gay-oriented web domain names (hotmilitarystud.com). That just adds to the hypocrisy.
The important story is how this guy got into the White House press corps, an indictment not only of the Bush administration's deviousness at controlling "news," but also of the submissive major news organizations that didn't investigate & expose the bullshit a long time ago. Once again, the bloggers had to do the job. Some marquee columnists have now written on the Gannon/Guckert scandal. But it's still not on the front pages.
Friday, February 18, 2005
What is the sound of one hand stuffing an envelope?
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Parse Dubya's State of da Onion speeches.
President Bill Clinton won his second Grammy this year, in the spoken word category for his book, "My Life" (not to be confused with the Billy Joel song). He won last year for his recitation on a recording of "Wolf Tracks,." a musical sequel to Prokofiev's "Peter & the Wolf." It was the third Grammy for the Clintons; Hillary copped one in 1997 for "It Takes a Village." "Come Poop With Me" by Triumph the Insult Dog lost in the Comedy category.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Maya Marcel-Keyes' Miracle Moment
*If the general population were polled for "Selfish Hedonists," the percentage would probably be about the same for straight, gay & no preference.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Saint Valentine's Day
Three of the most enduring marriages (with children) I know have a poet in them. Two of those poets met their spouses in late adolescence & are among the few I'd say found a "soulmate," which I do not believe is common or even necessary in love. Two of the most short-lived marriages (which produced a child) among friends also included poets. All lovers are soulmates during the thirty day trial period deal, after which one may return them paying only a small shipping & handling fee.
On Valentine's Day my thoughts turn to two of the loneliest American poets; Emily Dickinson & Walt Whitman. Walt is unmistakably gay in his poems & the objects of his effusive affections; he denied it to himself & others because he had to. His tried channeling his feelings into pansexuality. Of Emily, I've never read a convincing case for her being a lesbian. Perhaps she was, but I wonder if the thought even occurred to her; something else in her personality drove her to become a recluse. Wouldn't help if they had been introduced to each other; each would've been frightened & repelled by the intensity of the other's emotions & the very different forms & paths these emotions sought out. Whitman was operatic, a drama queen. Dickinson wrote in & around the cadences of Congregational hymns. In the privacy of their own thoughts, I doubt if any human behavior was truly alien to them.
The pagan holiday Saint Valentine's Day unsuccessfully attempted to replace is Lupercalia: Young men, naked except for the skins of goats that had been sacrificed, ran around the bounds of the Palatine Hill, both to purify the ancient site where Romulus & Remus had been suckled by wolves and, striking the women they met with strips of goat skin, to promote fertility. "Neither potent herbs, nor prayers, nor magic spells shall make of thee a mother," writes Ovid, "submit with patience to the blows dealt by a fruitful hand." There were also lotteries to choose lovers for the duration of the festival.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
The Incredible Jimmy Smith
In the wake of Jimmy Smith's early LPs for Blue Note, bars & lounges began featuring organ trios; drums, a guitar or sax, & the organist playing the bass patterns on the Hammond's 25 foot pedals - a difficult art to master - some prominent jazz organists never did. Newark had an especially lively jazz organ scene; in the summer funky organ trios played Jersey shore clubs from Asbury Park to Wildwood, especially those off-the-boardwalk places catering to a predominantly black clientele. Philadelphia, where Jimmy started his career, was also a hot spot for the music. Jimmy Smith played many of these venues. Unfortunately, I was too young to get inside for this kind of music in its prime, although I did catch a little of it from the outside, in Atlantic City early Sixties.
Jimmy Smith's origina Blue Note albums are uniformly very good to great. In the Sixties he switched to Verve & made records that were more "pop" by the standards of that era, many with big bands & top arrangers like Lalo Schifrin & Oliver Nelson that sound cool today, & a couple of memorable collaborations with Wes Montgomery & a young George Benson. It was those Verve LPs that I most often went to in my WFMU programs. Maybe Jimmy's music wasn't best served when I programmed "The Theme from The Munsters," "Jingle Bells," or his hit record "Walk On the Wild Side," but they were enjoyable, surprisingly well-made novelties in the free form context, & of course I also aired his Blue Note classics. Jimmy made one awful vocal album with a hilarious song-recitative titled "Astrology," in which he runs through the sexy & dangerous attributes of the 12 zodiac signs. So bya Jimmy, you're incredible, a musician of talent, class & good humor.
Check out these classic Jimmy Smith album covers: Chicken Shack, Movin' On, The Cat, Crazy Baby! (a fav, includes Mack the Knife & A Night in Tunisia), Bashin', Home Cookin'. The apostrophe of course signifies soul.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Me: So jus' chill: I had two drinks at a party & it made me feel that everyone there liked me . Holla!. But I'm not will'n ta driznink ta feel that way . Slap your mutha fockin self.
Dr. E.K.: I like you.
Me: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin': I eitha fizzy I dizzay deserve sum'm sum'm or that I might deserve it but haven't earned it fo shizzle.
Dr. E.K.: That's always been yo biggest problem. &. you don't like ask'n fo' hiznelp, brotha fo' sheezy.
Me: I am vizzle difficult ta git ta kizzle well; I hold bizzle a lot, even frizzom you.
Dr. E.K.: I knizzay.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
An Imposition of Ashes
I never liked when Methodism steered too closely to its Anglican origins - there were "high" & "low" liturgical varieties, with affluent churches more likely to embrace the former. I've always preferred an uncomplicated service, with familiar forms & hymns & an intelligent sermon with some modest originality (a rare thing) lasting no more than 20 minutes. For fancier theater, I'd go to church on occasion with one of the Catholic girls I always seemed to be dating. I even licked the ashes off Karen.
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
are made by the traveling
we do in darkness
awake, while others
walk about in their sleep.
In this night are only
the radio stations of choice,
the fixed destination of dawn,
& a sense that by then
we may be arriving somewhere.
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Monday, February 07, 2005
Sunday, February 06, 2005
usually with broader end
Russet-colored in the Fall,
most of the Winter.
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Saturday, February 05, 2005
I'm not happy with it. It isn't easier to customize, it's not much of a visual improvement & worse, the page doesn't load correctly in IE, which I don't use but most people do. I recommend Mozilla Firefox.
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
a poem for joel oppenheimer
for something better.
great blizzards won't
this perfect satisfaction.